SPIELBERG AND KULAS:

Kulas went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. After a couple of beers, Kulas sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, Kulas yelled; "What the hell is that for?"

Spielberg replied; "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you dammed Japanese, my dad perished in that bombing!!

Kulas exclaimed; “I am not Japanese, you stupid American! I am Filifino!"

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino ...you're all the same!"

Regaining his composure, Kulas dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a double R&B from the bartender. After a few sips, Kulas stood up and delivered his best Jackie Chan karate kick, sending the director flying halfway across the room.

"What was that for?!!" shouted the surprised Spielberg from about fifteen feet away.

"That’s for the sinking of the TITANIC! I had my grandfather on that ship!" Kulas answered back.  

"You’re ignorant Pinoy! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg!" exclaimed the director.

"Yeah… yeah… yeah...Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg... you are all the same . . .... also!"

ESTUDYANTE NAKATIPID:

Takbong pumasok ng bahay si Mario. Pagud na pagod, pero masayang-masaya. Nagmamayabang pa sa ina.

Mario:  "Nanay! Nanay! Nakatipid ako ng Otso Pesos."

Nanay: "Nakatipid? Paano?" tanong ng nanay.

Mario:  "Aba'y 'di ako sumakay ng dyip. Sumabay lang ako ng takbo. Kaya't nakatipid ako ng Otso yong pamaahe ko!"

Nanay:  "Bobo ka pala, eh. Kung taxi ang sinabayan mo, 'Di mas malaki ang natipid mo!"

Until death do us apart.......

When I got home that night  as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something  to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly .Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce from her, so I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, Why? I avoided her question. This made her angry.  She threw away the plate and shouted at me, “you are not a man!!”, she said.

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping and I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Danna. I didn't love my wife anymore I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house and the car, and 30% shares of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.  The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Danna so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Danna. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a 30 day notice before the divorce. She requested that in that 30 days we both struggle to live as normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple; “Our son had his exams in a month's time and I didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage”, she said very calmly.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Danna about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce”, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us and yelling, “Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms”. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; “don't tell our son about the divorce”. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Danna about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it's time to carry mum out”. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Danna opened the door and I said to her, “Sorry, Danna, I do not want the divorce anymore”.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead and asked me, “Do you have a fever?” She said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Danna I said, I won't divorce”, I said. “My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart”.

Danna seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death does us apart”. The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken. We teach some by what we say. We teach some more by what we do. But we teach most by what we are.

Ginahasa.....

MISTER: Ang iniiyakan ko lang naman, alam mo? eh bakit gumaganti ka ng kadyot habang ginagahasa ka ng tulisan?!

MISIS: Hay naku, Honey...SELF DEFENSE lang yon!!!

Lolang Sikat...

Minsan nagpunta sa doktor ang beteranang si lola para magpa check-up:

Doctor: Lola, kailan ho ba kayong huling nakipagtalik?
Lola: Mga 1955 pa.
Doctor: Matagal na ho pala ano?
Lola: Hindi naman Doc! 20:15 pa lang naman sa relo ko ah (habang nakatingin sa relo)!

Beauty Contest Sa Salug....

Judge Allan: What is the Capital of the Philippines?
Contestant : Manila
Judge Allan: Okay, then use Manila in a sentence?

Contestant : (Pina-igat pagtubag) Ganahan gyud kaayo ko sa akong uyab ay...kay kusog kaayo....
MANILA ...

F'LOMLOK FESTIVAL 2012 OPENED......

Newly built Polomolok Gymnasium

The corner portion the newly built Public Market with office at the 3rd Floor corner portion...

Parade participated by UP Manila - South Cotabato

Party Zone Area which provides entertainment thru music with locally organized talents and live bands..

The Polomolok Grand stand with full of people watching different shows organized by the local government..

The municipal plaza stage....

The annual F'lomlok Festival began yesterday September 5, 2012 and was started by a parade joined by various group from the private and government sector. At exactly 5 o'clock in the morning the parade participants gathered in Polomolok Central Elementary School Oval plaza, and they walked around the corner in Barangay Poblacion here in the municipality.

After the parade there was an opening program held at the municipal plaza in front of thousands of people attended the festival held from September 5 to 10 each year, and the guest speaker was no less than the former senator Juan Miguel Zubiri from Bukidnon. Right after the program is the band and Lyre competition joined by various public and private schools in Polomolok where students have their own favorite schools that they cheered through shouting and clapping.

A lot of activities are being line-up by the official and organizer for the benefit of the people of Polomolok and visitors from different places in SOCSKSARGEN or South Cotabato; Sultan Kudarat; Sarangani Province and General Santos City area and even from some other areas in the Philippines.

During night time for one whole week, a party zone was organized for all who love to listened live bands and music participated by different local bands in the municipality and part of promoting local talents. Last night September 5 all rock music lovers jam packed in the newly built Polomolok Gymnasium to witnessed and listened the music popularized by the Kamikazee Band from Manila.

I really enjoyed watching people enjoying themselves roaming around with their family, lovers and friends watching different shows and activities organized by the local government of Polomolok, South Cotabato. To the all the organizer... congratulations for the job well done and keep it up.  

The Street Dancing Participants during the parade...

With different attire of the participant that added color of the vents....

The people are enjoying watching this parade as it passed in Dahlia Street in Poblacion...

The participants from Poblacion Polomolok National High School..