Apil ang Iring ug Iro..

Inahan: Daghana ug lung-ag Nak ha, apila ang iring ug iro…
Anak: Oo nay!
…..
Inahan: Na-unsa man ni! Nganong dunay iring sa nilung-ag?
Anak: Apil gani unta ang iro, wala lang jud nako madakpan Nay…hehehe

Gikapoy...

TINGPAMAHAW…

Amo: inday, mangaon nata!
Inday: una na lang mo sir, unya na ko…
Amo: ngano man?
Inday: wala koy gana maglung-ag sir, gikapoy ko…

Panuhot...

Ex-lovers nagkita:
Boy: Nidako lage imong tiyan?
Girl: Lage, gi.panuhot man gud ko.
After 9 months, nagkita nasad sila. Nagdala ug bata ang girl.
Boy: uy, ka cute sa panuhot.

Open Minded Operation...

Pasyente: Dok,ngano ing-ani man ang operasyon sa akong ulo???  Halos makita na ang utok oh!
Doktor: Okay ra na, mao na ang gitawag nga "open minded" operation...

Papa Diay....

Hi dear i love you...
I love you too dear.
Papa nimo ni ga-igat igat na diay ka ha!!!!!!
Ay sorry pa joke ra to uy!

Txt napod..

Babes love you....
Hu U???
Boyfiend mo babes I love you..
Aw! Abi nako ug si Papa babe.... I love you too babes.
Papa bitaw nimo ni!!!!! bantay lang jud ka inig pauli nimo unya.

Dugo sa Bigaon...

Asa ka? Off lagi imong phone?
Na ospital atong friend, urgent kau kinahanglan daw siya ug dugo kanang medyo biga-on!
Donate pud uy.... ayaw pagdinalo diha!!!!

Gi-Dagat.....

Umagad: Iuli ko ning akong asawa nga buktot!
Ugangan: Ngano man nga gahapon pman inyo kasal?
Umagad: Kuan man gud pa, inig jer2x nimo ba magtuwang tuwang man, gidagat ko uy.....

HANDS DOWN...

An elderly man wanted to make his younger wife pregnant, so he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. He took it and left the clinic.

The next day, the elderly man came back, looking worried. The specimen cup was empty and the lid was still on it.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I tried with my right hand... nothing," the man answered.
"I tried with my left hand... nothing. My wife tried with her right hand... nothing. Her left hand... nothing. Her mouth... nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth... still nothing."
"Wait a minute," the doctor said.
"You mean... your wife's friend too?!"
"Yeah," answered the man, " and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup."